I wanted to share a mom’s story on my blog for celebrations of Mother’s Day. We all have our stories and mother’s stories always pull my heart strings. To be a mother is the most amazing thing in the world but it also has many challenges, and that is what makes mothers incredibly strong. We pretty much have our hearts walking outside of our bodies from the time we give birth. I never knew this feeling until I had my own son. I have also been very open about my miscarriages and how they have affected me, but there are many many things us mothers have to endure, from beauty and most vibrant love you can find to heart ache and sorrow and pain some days. So there is one word that describe all mothers STRONG. The interview below is a story of a strong mom that is so inspiring, and who made it back stronger than ever from a dark place in her life, without further due, welcome Marsha:
MQ: What did you have for breakfast?
MF: This morning I indulged in some amazing Keto lemon curd with coconut cream and a hot cup of coffee.
MQ: I have always loved a morning routine, at times in my life I haven’t had one or was too busy, and it throws me off course. Do you have a morning routine and what does it look like?
MF: I do have a routine, though I tend to alter between two, depending upon when I have my kids. When I’m home alone, I have my coffee and meals prepped for the following day. When I wake up I do a self assessment and decide if I’m going to work out in the am or pm for the day. This lends me an opportunity to really be in tune with my body and listen to what she needs on a daily basis. I always allow for some time to read and journal, as this is my form of meditation and really sets me up for a joyful and prosperous day.
When I have my kids I add in the making of their lunches the night before so that the morning is less chaotic. I always make them a hot breakfast vs. cold cereal. I”ve learned that my love is best expressed through my food and my desire to nourish. I get them off to school and head to work with a PM work out planned on the days I have them.
MQ: You responded to my quest for mother’s that have gone through a spiritual journey, I am very interested in finding out how people got here, what brought you to that point in life to become spiritual and to look at life with a different perspective?
MF: My journey has been one of many highs and lows and the further along the path I go the more depth and connection I experience. As a kid I explored different churches but never really felt ‘at home’. I’ve always had this uncanny ability to know things, even though I never recalled learning them or where the information came from. When I was 19 I had a son and was unable to care for him in the capacity that I desired most, so when he was 6 months old I gave him up for adoption. I think this was the catalyst that really began my journey back to self. Many years were spent self medicating as I was drowning in sadness and grief. I landed in a very emotionally abusive relationship that I now realize robbed me of my personal power and my energy! I drove me to move from CA to WA where I briefly moved back in with my dad and step-mom. I delved deeply into oracle cards, spiritual books like the celestine prophecy and began writing again! I was slowly climbing out of a dark hole and remembering who I was and where I came from and why I was here! Two years after I moved to WA I ended up meeting someone and making the decision to marry. I ignored this ‘gut’ feeling that this was not the right choice for me, and continued to ignore it for 13 years! Slowly I lost myself to marriage, motherhood and work. I realized after the birth of my daughter in 2013 that I was depressed! Despite all the ‘things’ I had and the many accomplishments I had made I was miserable, I hated my body, I hated myself, I didn’t even know who I was. I cried all the time, I was frustrated, resentful and a raving bitch to be honest. People at work were afraid to approach me and I had created similar fear at home with my kids and my husband. During this 13 year period I also found out that I was suffering from an autoimmune disorder that had a huge impact on my energy and health. I obsessed about how to ‘fix’ myself but nothing ever worked. I began working out again, as this was always an outlet that was just for me and made me feel so good. There I met a trainer that introduced me to some amazing personal development guru’s that I was never awake to know of before. There was a definite intellectual connection, a spark, that really created some turmoil within and allowed me to see that I was really unhappy in my marriage. I delved deeper into books and learning and trying to find ways to strengthen myself, the core of Marsha. I made some amazing progress but that nagging gut feeling, and undertone of unhappiness was still there. In the fall of 2017, I made the decision to leave my marriage, despite the fear of how it would impact my 3 beautiful children. Instantaneously my spirit was lifted and the heaviness in my gut began to subside. In the past 8 months I have recognized that my physical manifestations with Hashimoto’s and Digestive issues were really a product of my not listening to my intuition or speaking my truth! Now I have time to be alone and that solitude has allowed me to reconnect with myself, allowing me to love Marsha! I nourish myself with healthy food, I workout as my body allows (being mindful and loving of my limitations), I am falling in love with myself every day and it feels absolutely amazing. I am honoring myself through the many faucets that bring me peace and harmony and lead me further along my spiritual path. Books and journaling are big components of this, as well as hiking and communing with nature. The stress and chaos that once made me irritable, frustrated and bitchy has all but fallen away. I find ways to get into my body whenever I feel triggered, sometimes it’s breath, sometimes its just using my voice in a calm way to communicate. For the first time in my life I am able to love myself with out shame or guilt and it’s worth every moment of pain, failure and confusion I endured to get here! I will say that finding a therapist that focuses on somatic work has also aided in me making connections and bringing more depth to the work I am doing. It has allowed me to forgive myself and many people in my family, and stop living in the past!
MQ: What are your dreams and what are you doing right now to make them happen?
MF: I have so many dreams! I’m a health coach and have a tremendous passion for nutrition and fitness. Right now I’m working on a ‘Road Map / Business Plan’ to integrate my passion for wellness into the sleep center that I run. I never had the capacity to see how they both played into one another until I let go of trying to choose a path and just let the path unfold before me. In 2019 I will have a wellness component integrated into the sleep center, which will allow me to do what I love and what I’m good at!
MQ: Given the choice of anyone in the world who would you like as dinner guest, and why?
MF: Gosh, you know I think I would really enjoy sitting down with ‘little’ Marsha. I think that living in a home with drug addicted parents I lost the ability to be a kid. I’d want to sit with my child self and listen to her dreams, hopes and aspirations. I’d just revel in her carefree, creative spirit!
MQ: What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
MF: Well I’ve accomplished a lot in my career and in my family. But I think I’d stand here today and say the biggest accomplishment I’ve made is taking the steps necessary to heal myself one day at a time. To pull from my internal strength and energy and love myself and not lose or give my power away but seeking the approval and love of others. This has been a tremendously difficult thing to do and it is what I am most proud of beyond anything else.
MQ: What can the readers do to serve your mission and spread your passion?
MF: Start everyday finding gratitude for all that you are and all that you have. Listen to your bodies and your intuition, speak from your heart, and let go of the need to please others! If we could all spend a little more time loving who we are and letting go of who we ‘should’ be, we’d find that the people and experiences we need will present themselves. The more you walk in your own light and truth, the happier and more fulfilled you become! By doing this you will inevitably vibrate at a higher frequency and inspire others and that is my greatest hope!
MQ: What is one book that has changed you or that has been life changing.
MF: There are SO many books! But I will say one that has really inspired me and allowed me to delve deeper in to my soul work is The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. The book that followed that was The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
I really hope the story of Marsha inspires some women to take the leap of self care or overcome whatever hardship you are enduring. While life looks so pretty from the outside there is so much we are dealing with on the inside and to see and read people doing it instead of masking it, is very powerful. So be open, you never know when you can help someone, and sharing our stories is how we help each other the most.