It has been a little over a year after I started my blog. It started from self healing and self discovery. I had so much to write down that it all flowed naturally from me. I was never a writer, English is my second language but I just had this desire to write. Now that I look back at it, I realize how I didn’t contemplate it or plan it, it just happened. I have thought about many times to go back and edit and take out the personal information or the most vulnerable parts and then I stop myself, because those are the parts that many don’t share, but those are the parts that help others the most.
Looking back at this year I have dug deep into myself. Before this journey I never heard of a word innerwork before. I heard of people going to therapy to talk about their problems, some people even have their own personal therapist. I had tried that, few times, it never worked for me. It may work very well for some people but I am not a talker first of all, so I did not get much out of it.
Innerwork is an amazing tool to get your life on track. There are many, many avenues on how to deal, but this has been a life changer for me. I recommend it highly.
It is one of the hardest things to accept to do, because it is mainly about looking at your shadows, your dark areas that you are and have been trying to avoid most of your life. It is about taking accountability for your every problem you have, and every trigger that comes up. It sucks. Because we are so used to blaming and lashing out and thinking it is all outside of us. We are used to thinking it’s the weather, our heritage, our parents, our siblings, our genes, our nationality, our country etc. Newsflash – it is all inside of you.
Many of us do not dare to go there, because we don’t think we need to. We think we are good, we think it is just normal to be all triggered, we think it’s normal that we hate our jobs, argue with family, get pissed about a stranger doing something we don’t approve of. Newsflash – it’s not them, it’s us.
Innerwork – takes work. It is not something that gets cleared with reading one book. Depending on you and your circumstances, the time varies on each individual.
I am no doctor, nor do I have an education on any of this, I am simply stating what an eye opener this was for me, there is no going back. This is where happiness lies, inside you, nothing to do with anyone or anything else. Everything outside of us can only enhance the journey.
“I am my own muse, I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.” – Frida Kahlo