This post is post Father’s Day, but better late than never.
Our kids are soft. I am sure you have heard this term more than you want to.
Men….. always criticized, always corrected by us women, wives, mothers.
Speaking from my own experience my father had a very harsh hand, he ruled the household, he ruled the money, he controlled what we did and what we did’t do. His word was over anyone else’s in my home. I am pretty sure lots of kids born when I was born, can relate to this. That is just how things were. The mother’s did not have much to say, once the male had spoken. Especially if they wanted to stay married and be a “happy ” family.
Times have changed. In some ways I feel times have changed drastically, to the point where father’s voices are muffled.
Fathers are put down as being incapable, irresponsible. Wives mother them and control them to the point of where they don’t feel like men, they have to mouse their voice and surrender their masculine power.
Women – is this what we wanted?
Have we lost site of what is best for the kids? Every kid, boy or girl, needs a mom and needs a dad. And there is a place for the way dads parent and for the way moms parent. Children need both polarity. Easier said than done, that is why it’s said that parenting is the hardest job. It takes a lot of self reflection and self awareness to make this dynamic work.
I am not a professional, but from my own experience, I am realizing that kids may just need that Father’s touch more, that structure they are so loudly yearning for, for that solid rock, that moms may not be as good at. Yes, I know the mom lions are coming out and the single moms that do both jobs, are roaring, but if we lean back just a touch and let our men to step up, and take that accountability, and not correct them, I see rainbows and unicorns.
Maybe then, and only then us mom’s can be wives and girlfriends again, maybe then and only then we can feel weight lifted, don’t correct, don’t criticize, surrender to your female power for the sake of solid kids, not soft kids.